girlfriend bought me a sunflower! so sweet~ andandand also some chinese herb drink :] bitter to the mouth and sweet to the heart. haha. went with mum to buy some stuff. felt as if im gna collaspe any moment like that. the stupid medicine made me so drowsy. *yawns*

i visited monster doctor today! im sureee glad i did :] im like gona run a fever soon. andandand. im SURE GLAD i visited the doctor today. because i realised this.
chinese new year is like next thursday!
if only someone reminded me earlier! i sure would stay away from cold drinks and ice cream and chocolates and cookies and biscuits and blablabla! HEH. well. its not tooo late right. i still got.. one, two , three.... one more week to go! i dont want to be the only one WATCHING people eat those tidbits on new year boy! quick quick recover!!
monster doctor said this : " no cold drinks, chocolates, heaty stuff blablabla for you. (in short, no JUNKS) "
BUT! thats like what i eat EVERY SINGLE DAY CAN! and mum even restrited yogurt juice from me. like OMG!! thats what she define cold drinkss.

okay. bought this book called 'the true measure of a woman' by lisa bevere.
real impactful.
' you are more than what you see '
im sick of trying to be someone im not. trying too hard you know. i should just be happy the way I am. I want my joy back :] i want to be a smiling freak wherever i go, ppl will smile! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)::):):):):):):)
many times we look at the outward appearance. im still guilty of that. But i sure do not want to get crushed by god before i learn to see inward. heh.

bought a chinese bk on boundaries with teens for mum. well. nuts or not i don't know. first. im like letting my mum gain knowledge on how to DRAW BOUNDARIES FOR ME. but next, ( i do weight the benefits okay) it also talks about why teens rebel etc etc and about single mother hood blabla. yeah. I READ THAT BEFORE I PASS IT TO HER.
it talks about the parent forcing the poor kid to grow up faster than what is normal. yeah. i want mum to read that! haha. lol. im not saying this in a rebellious tone. oh well.

I had chilli crabs today! :] yumyum! mum said something ridiculous. together with the crab, you usually order this deep fried bread thats like WOW! andandand she said must wait for the bread to cool before i can eat cause im sick. LIKE WHAT? no sense at all! worst still . she wana order MILO as a drink for me. But the bottomline is... that she cares. BLEAH. and of course mdm SHUHUI who nads at me. HHAHAHA. dont worry. next time you can pass this job to my boyfriend BUT for now, OH NO. you are stuck to this lazy bum girl who just dont listen *shakes head*

ADULT FARE IS LIKE $%^*%$&$(*( !!!!!

WHAT IS THIS. SO EXPENSIVE! EVEN AFTER GOING POLY THE CONCESSION OR SO YOU CALL IT IS LIKE 45 BUCKS CAN?

OKAY. GRACE. PRAISE THE LORD! HAH. BLEAHS.

back from CA at boonlay. its like 1.70 to travel there and another 1.70 back? gosh. i dun want to grow up mummy! i love dinner there. yumyum. with soup (my all time favourite! )

boohoo. Im like two weeks SICK. haha. thats because....

im eating junk food daily praying my cough and sore throat and running nose will subside. HOW GREAT.

oh well..

its a little late. but sunday was daniela's birthday! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! :] actually had some plans but could not be carried out. boohoo.

okay. im a good girl and im off to sleep. Ciao!

*mummy is bringing me to see monster doctor tomorrow!

mum:' who ask you dont take care of yourself '

me: 'FINEE...' (ren ming you know) haaha. kidding.

mum is super nice unlike the above.

this is the real thing.

mum, worried "go see doctor lahh... dont keep waiting. later worst become asthma! "

me " AIYAH. tomorrow lahhh. "

tomorrowww...

mum " you still sick??!! tomorrow i give you money go see doctor! "

me " okay... " (knowing i will not do so)

tomorrow...

MUM " WAH. still coughing! you seems worst now! your voice changed! "

me " nono. i got eat pi pa gao. (some sore throat medicine) "

mum " cannot lidat lah! "

me " wont die lahhhh.... (walks away ) "

tomorrow...

mum "see doctor already? "

me " havent leh ... "

mum "aiyoh! why lidat! "

me "nvrm lahhh... "

mum " cannot like that! tomorrow mornin i bring you go see doctor! "

me " don wantt... at night at night"

well. we shall see whether i will visit monster doctor tomorrow. HAHA.

Andandand. i received a nice nice necklace from a friend. he said that when he saw the necklace he thought of me so he bought it for me. SWEET!

when i told baby, she thought it was... * ahem * like OMG! i wish also can! hahah. crap shit. BYE.

.picking myself up from where i fell.

it's okay. it's alright. hang on there grace. It'll be all worth it :]

i wana know you more :)

looking out on the sea, praying you will appear.

&i waited.

15 points for L1R4 and 19 points for L1R5 - 13 points inclusive of CCA :)

hello.

mum called me just when i reached home, while using the computer. with a serious tone she said

" mummy want to talk to you " afterwhich, she let out a heavy sigh..

with a heavy heart she entered the house and sat beside the computer table and started talking about the course on banking and finance. i was like ' why you so seriuos for? '

and she replied ' i scared you angry with me if i tell you all this '

LOL. knowing that she do not know how to express what she wants to, she said ' i call uncle. you go talk with him. he can explain to you better '

and so we spoke. oh. uncle is from banking so he gave me pretty good advice and that i should be more R-E-A-L-I-S-T-I-C and not chose music and audio as first choice. makes sense.

apparently. mum and him told me that i can find a job immediately after i come out from poly and so i can start working for my university fees. BLAH. andandand i can repay the bank for the loans for poly fees.

THANK GOD that when pastor prayed for me today, she said that God will provide for my school fees so i need not worry. I PRAY REALLL HARD i dont have to loan from the bank!

people will think im crazy laughing to my phone.

But i seriously dont mind.

why is the frequency just not the same?

He said He is going to make me shine infront of my friends :]

WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

seminary professor Dr.bracken was known for his elaborate object lessons, so the students weren't taken by surprise when they entered the classroom midsemester and saw a huge target attached to the front wall. Trisha knew something was up, however, when she noticed several darts carefully placed on a nearby table.

she took her seat and listened carefully to her professor's instruction. "take out a piece of paper and draw a sketch of someone you dislike ; someone who has hurt you; someone who has angered you. When you are finished, I'll post it each picture on the target and allow you to throw darts at the person's picture. "

Toby drew a picture of his dad, who had struggled with alcohol and left the family when Toby was young. Emily drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Darren drew a picture of his older brother. Trisha drew a picture of an ex-friend - one who had hurt her deeply. she delighted in drawing scars and acne on his face to make him as ugly as she could.

The students posted their pictures over the huge target and one by one began ripping apart. Trisha couldnt wait for her turn. Her anger was growing with each passing minute.

"okay, class. return to your seats." Dr bracken said.
"this exercise took longer than i expected, so we're going to cut it short because of time."
Trisha sat in anger, upset because she wasn't given a chance to throw even one dart at the picture she had placed on target.
As she quietly fumed, Dr braken began removing the target form the wall. Trisha gasped. Underneath the target was a picture of jesus. silence fell in over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus. Holes and jagged marks covered His face, and his eyes were pierced.
Dr Bracken then quoted from the verse " inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of there my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

results are gona be out tomorrow! the teacher from NSS called me to inform me that i have outstanding school fees to pay. so i have to arrive at school by one to pay or they will not give me my certificate. THREATENING! haha.

dad is buying me a ....... to reward me for me o lvl,

bro gf buying me anything that i like when we go shopping together soon,

and KUKU JIT CHEONG will have to give it a treat at sakae! (can chose somewhere else? )

woots!

jit cheong is the only one who will give me a treat if i do well. PIANG..

haha. but better than none lah hor. hoho!

i cant find a reason for loving you.

many said that when you are in love, you simply cant find a reason why your heart beat faster for that someone. i used to think its stupid. i mean.. how can you like that someone for no reason?

i always thought there was a reason.

of course, perhaps in areas of looks. afterall, love at first sight is definitely because of looks, or the way they dress, isnt it? love at first SIGHT. you mean you can see the person's character etc? i really dont understand.

why do you like someone when you HAVE NO REASON FOR LIKING THAT SOMEONE?

one said that if you can find a reason for liking that someone, that it is only a crush. you simply like the something about that someone and not the person. a crush remains a crush until you see the weakness of that person.

thennn....

i realised something...

God died on the cross for us... for no reason except LOVE.

for sure, there is NO REASON to why he loved us except that he created us. i mean. look at us. we are all stained with sin and blood. ugly like anything. stink to the max. why why why did he chose to love us?

there is no reason!

unless you try to tell me that he love us because we stink and we are dirty etc. nice try. he didnt look at our talent and say wow. this boy/girl pretty or clever leh!
and for that reason went to the cross....and by this, may i say that i conclude that when you are truly in love, you cant find a reason that satisfy why you like that one person and not the rest.

perhaps thats why i love you.

drank a bowl of soup for lunch... then accompanied baby to cafe to eat.

she treated me to ice chocolate!

we spend the evening there in the comfort of the air con and sofa reading books and bible.

went to upload the 200 pictures taken in cruise to baby's computer... waiting for her to send it to me!

then had dinner with her family at some thai restaurant.

the pineapple rice was like.... YUMYUMYUM!!! superb! better than the best i had ever eaten!

- in touch with the deepest and darkest part of my heart. -

in our heart, there are many different rooms with doors. some of the doors are wide open while the others are closed - locked. but the keys have been thrown away, never to be recovered.the latter are memories that have hurt you bad. events that cause your heart to bleed and you never want to revisit it ever in your entire life again. never to be spoke about, never to be recalled. But yet when you dispose it to the back of your mind, you can never be real. inasmuch as you try to smile and pretend you are happy, you know that you are not. though circumstances prove that you should be happy, you are not. you have lost yourself completely. lost the true self. you dont know who you are anymore. afterall, those events that you selectively chose to forget is part of you. in doing so, you are forgetting yourself and hence, you lose a part of you.

hitherto, this was what i have been doing the past sixteen years.

forgetting myself , until this day when i acknowledge the locked doors that did not allow people to enter. it was then when i came in touch with my true self that my heart soften and tears began to secrete in my eyes.

went to celebrate my korkor's birthday today. OH MY. i had CRABS for dinner! yumyum. it was one of the best i have ever eaten okay...

and today, i realised the four other angels that God placed in my life to love me :]

after a great talk with uncle, thoughts began to flood. one truth after the other. some of it is the one mention at the beginning of this post.

WHAT GOD BRING TOGETHER , MAN CANNOT SEPERATE.

with the doors unlocking one by one in the light of God, im walking life out over again. to be true with myself and allowing God to work through me. that i may be a sports car that does not resist the wind of the Holy spirit. He is just wiring my life to be used by him and i gladly abide. I witness His hands upon my life and im walking into a new phrase.

hold on to me

i want this, this and this :] greedy girl.

STOP PROCRASTINATING GRACE.

GET YOUR ASS OFF THE CHAIR AND START WORKING!!

okay. my face is like very red now.

seems like life is pretty mundane and there's nothing to blog about. well. not until when i return on Sunday. But because there is nothing for me to do, i just sit infront of the computer and type and type and type.
time please pass faster! i want to go out to the sea!! interesting, exciting, thrilling.

OH. maybe cutting hair is one of my talent too. HAHA.

gona explore many things while at cruise. WOOTS! let your creativity power flow, GRACE!

oh yeah. if you have got brains, you will jolly well know that you cant reach me so don't bother calling or texting me cause there will be no response :]

don't blame me if you have got no brains :]

haha. ohoh. the exceptional case is that when you really really really really miss me (which cant be help) and really really really really want to express it out to me,
HA! i will gladly receive the many misses. HAHAHA.

days are approaching faster then i thought.

cruise.

its getting exciting. im gona camwhore as much as i can. just you wait when i come back with all those crazy pictures and of course, poses or jack and rose. HAHA.
today's meeting in church was jsut superb. my faith took a leap.

baby got her frindge cut! haha. not bad not bad. im a good advisor okay. she merely sat there and have her hair cut. i was the one telling the hairdresser what and how. afterwhich baby came my place and i style her hair for her. actualy had her wear my clothes but she was uncomfortable so forget it. haha.

then i went to bugis and to the shop called mascot and puppet w/o a.doreen. was suppose to meet her but she had some last minute thing to attend to. so.... THANKGOD baby was there with me or i will be all sad and lonely. HAHA.

oh yeah. i must blog this.

god sent me an angel today!

thank you Paul for the wonderful meal!

&of course my permanent angel, miracle!

&& yestersday, james was my angel :]

thankyouthankyouthankyou!

counting down on a few more hours to.....

XOXOX.

' eat oreo mcflurry must share. '

since we started sharing, i felt weird when i had it all to myself today. *beams*

oh yeah. today was a pretty interesting day.

'baby loves mummy many many'

went to library in search for music books that had chords etc in them, but to no avail. but its okay :] there are always ways...

was a fruitful day. had my fun with the keyboard and guitar. ANDAND. grace cooked her first dish of vegetables without mummy - but of course with the help of my partner chief.

woots. i just enjoy sitting with elders to hear 'em talk. had a great laugh today chatting about an elder's childhood. damn funnyy.... of his dogs, of insects etc. LAUGHSLAUGHS.

apparently i have got a free lunch treat tomorrow! wees! okayokay. baby is gona have a new camera tomorrow! that means we will be able to camwhore throughout the days! hah.

counting down on three more days to cruise.

thursday is coming!! *heart jumps in excitement*

I will never be the same again

I will never return

I've closed the door

I will walk the path

I will run the race
& I will never be the same again

********************************************************************

and when times are happy and good, it'll be - 'i have never met a friend like you before. you are so special to me.'

I WANA RUN BUT I CAN'T HIDE.

game for it.

and it happens again and again.

what is this for?

went to grandma's house. played with two little cousins and praying for God to open up the way for one of them to come yyb. my relatives are like telling me to work lah. dangsdangsdangs. but whatever. received a piece of good shit news. lol. im excited!! :] its still so long to the start of school. holidays is borinnggg...

ohhh. today was the first time michelle led worship. i realllyyy didnt knew my mic was so loud. i already tried to refrain from singing as long as she and james are stable. oh well. sermon was superb. though it was not the first time i heard it, but it sure did help to refresh my memory and yup. it got into my brain.

i LOVE jamming session. the english youth sure have got a good drummer and keyboardist :]

ahh. fire is just burning burning and burning. im upset. im isolating. things just sucks - to the core. oh well. things i want to do, i cannot do.

like what ben said, true freedom happens within the boundary God has given us and i sure understand that. hang on there, little grace. you will pull through, like you always did.

i waited but you left without a word.

you know i love you much <3

I'M DOWN WITH FLLLUUUUU !!!

BIG BAD MONSTERR...

have been having nights feeling darn cold through the sleep. when my bed was changed to a double decker , mum refuse to let me sleep at the lower deck. like bro, insisted that i sleep at the top. and so what science teaches us - hot air rises cold air sinks. so attentive grace put that stupid lesson to use and cause the fan that is currently in my room is apparently very small, i assumed that im gna suffer from then on.

oh yeah, i made an ass out of myself.

since then, every morning my bed will be filled with rolled tissues everywhere.

andandand. last night was the worst. i really cant comprehend how does mucus produce themselves so fast and how dumb it is to use tissues to collect them. LOL.

okay. a friend commented that i have double-chin. in other words, I HAVE EXTRA FATS. in other other words, I HAVE BECOME FAT. HAHAH. and so. to conquer that, im going to jog!! lame shit i know. but thats one of the substance that im made up of, apart from sugar and spice, and everything else thats nice, oh. and of course not forgetting honeyy. :]

and yeah. my stamina is *shakes head* BUT. i have PERSEVERENCE! go grace go!

ohhh. i went to singapore poly's openhouse on thursday.

though time wasnt on my side, i still did made full use of it. went around questioning people on the different genre of courses. asked a little dumb questions but that makes the convo more lively duh. took many brochures and some for friends. OOHHH... their goodie bag is really not bad. heh. and elson PON school halfway and off we went homee...

okay. as for plans today, it will be drama practice.

im acting as dirty cinderella! hahah. we shall see how it goes. exposing to new things is kinda cool, so ******, relax and join in the fun!

then there will be miracle service :]

counting down on six more days....

well, i just pray all things be settled asap and we can enjoy the full of the time together.

tough times are inevitable. yet it is how we react to the circumstances that determine our failure or success.

thanks sweetie for the openess and trust.

i just got news that some say results will be out on the 18th of january, some said 20th and my friend told me its 24th. sighs. how messages can be passed. but then again, it kinda reflect how gossips are like. a person say something and as the message passes down, it get more and more diverted from the truth. HMM. a lesson learnt. not bad not bad.

blabblercheckpoint.blogspot.com

& my heart is in a mess.
the smiles and the tickling of each ____ .

weets. today is a new beginning :] goodbye to those good old days. hello to a brand new year ahead, brand new school life soon. im ready to move on!

*beams*

apparently music and audio wont allow me to have a good pay unless i really REALLY further my studies overseas. what should i do??

i love you.

its holidays holidays holidays blablabla. packed my table yesterday. didnt expect to take hours doing it can. and thanks to baby for helping me with the words and pasting :] spent hours with her at macdonalds while writing my journal with my mp3 blasting in my ears. heh. all thanks to rebecca for doing me such a huge favour. if not the mp3 would be rotting at home. we went to np foodcourt for lunch and its like damn funny can.
i went to this stall to order and this lady in uniform was apparently addressed as xiao mei and when she served me, i was addressed as xiao jie. HAHA.
i woke up late for this two days! alarm clock too soft! hehe. luckily still got chance! must not happen anymore!! :]
things have changed so much for me, since that fateful day. and i sure glad it did, with friends who hanged on there that caused today to be different. THANK YOU!
i pray that our friendships in GB will remain strong and we will stand together in unity and not break the bonding. i know that as far as i can, i will try my best to remain in unity. will you join me that i may not be the only hand trying to hard to clap?

truth, faith, feelings.
the truth is you were not there.

met up with baby for lunch at buddy hoagies and becca tagged along. went to many places? eh. bought an organiser with baby! its like soooo nice can. but of course the price arent cheap but if you divide it for twelve months, still can lah. haha. and i need it for poly life too. so yeap. wee! so happy. always wanted an organiser with a ray of hope that my life will be a little more organised and planned. HA!
afterwhich accompanied shuhui to get some gadget stuff. dennis introduced a cafe job to me. i really really wish i could work there. i mean... everything seems so perfect.hahah. but... i can only work for the coming 30 plus days and within these days i have to memorise loads of stuff which apparently i wont have the time to if i work...
so... conclusion is that i still have to give up on that job. sigh. butt.. its near singapore poly. so perhaps i will take up the job after the Os holidays. we shall see. i still need money for the laptop for school and the list goes on. can help mum lighten the load lah. got to loan from the bank to go poly cann... BUT. God is in control :]
as of now im not in need for cash lah. its holidays anyway. HEH. shall enjoy the holidays improving my chinese while memorising. COOL COOL.
counting down to... 20 more days to the release of results!!
MUSIC AND AUDIO HERE I COME!!
heh. my new study table and beds and chair is arriving tomorrow! going to remove the big bed in my room and move the double decker from bro's room to mine :] YEAH!!! repainted the room, new study table and chair, new beds.... WEE! a brand new look! and going ikea to shop for things to deco! and jiejie is buying a clock for me to decorate the table.
andandand. im hopeful for a piano. aunty doreen is moving house and apparently she is giving her piano away and GRACE is up for it! ha! just that some keys are spoil. hope it can be fixed :] *beams*

hello hello 2008 :]
a brand new year ; the year i have been waiting. good bye '07!
spent my night on 31st december at high street, counting down on the minutes to the first of january. with the seconds hand striking twelve, the fireworks started and we all rushed to the window to catch a full view of it. I wasnt as amused as i was in comparison to national day but... its still special on its own!

as of today, mum and i went to chong pang to look for a study table and paint to paint my room. but i sure wished i had turned up for badminton... oh well. shall wait till sunday then :] wee. spent hours painting and painting. dont really like the colour though. its light greenish in colour but it just turn out weird... perhaps we may repaint. HAHA. and i want to go IKEA to shop and decorate my room! ohhh. still have to clean up the house and vacuum blablabla cause its dirty and and was already late by the time the painting job was done. and guess what. the trade for my mum coming to church
- GRACE has to do all the household chores -
but mum is good lah. she did the laundry and didnt force me to do it. but still... a trade is a trade? haha. LOVE AND HONOUR your parents like parents and not maids. OH WELLLLL.... updated my personal diary with smiles wide across my face.

with a new year, im starting things afresh, starting on a clean state with God and focusing on Him even during this holidays, to draw near to him and know him in a deeper measure never before. i know it will be an exciting journey for each one of the green berets as we walk together to seek his face and as we love Him more, our relationship with one another will improve and we will be the light and salt of the world! well for now, its sp ( if you know what i mean :] )
oh well. 10th to the 12th is the open house. shall go check it out yeah!