I Lack Pictures.

Yesterday Am came over to ma place and we had PIZZAAAA! (: was awesome time spent with this precious one. One who is always in my heart, in my prayers. And im so glad we could catch up yesterday. We read together... a book named 'healing for the father wound'. a book that Aunty Deb got for me last year for christmas cause she felt that the Holy Spirit prompted her to get it for me.

I tried reading the bk initially but i kinda know the contents inside already since I have been in disciple class for five years and did healings and stuff. So yesterday i explored the book together with her. it was way cool cause we both could totally understand each other's feelings and that NOPE. We are so not weird with the way we think and act. Girl, you are so normal.

yesterday was the first time i truly experienced what it meant by reaching the untouchables... yesterday was the first time my life's experiences were used to touch another. Not that usually my life doesnt. but today was the first time i ministered to someone whose background was the replication of mine... I knew and understood her every thought. Every. i could complete her sentences, tell her what she has been struggling with, tell her the burdens that she has been carrying ever since her roof tore apart... It wasnt easy for her. it wont be easy for anyone who went thorugh what she did. But ppl around her couldnt understand her. people around her thought she was being too sensitive, making a mountain out of a molehill. But i guess they'd never understand until they are in our shoes. i feel you girl.

And maybe thats why God placed you in my life when u were merely twelve. And when u are at ur weakest, i could offer u a helping hand and listening ear.... And not judge you and think you are weird... And the sweetest thing that happened yesterday? that you invited Jesus back into your heart again.

Many atimes we think God is playing a joke on us. He made us come to earth so He could torture us. Oh how distorted our thinkings could be. and yes, thats exactly what satan wants to do. Satan knew that God made fathers so that our fathers could show us what the Heavenly Father is like. If many of you do not know, the way you relate to your father, the way he acts and all, you porject it upon the Heavenly Father. For instance, my dad was never there for me physically and emotionally therefore i will find it hard to enter worship cause i will always think that God isnt there and He feels so far away...
Satan knew the power and the impact a father has on a child. so he made a plan to destroy this image carrier of God. He tore families up so the children will never see how the Heavenly Father is like... But yesterday, i hope that girl, you realise that no, God is not a prankster who plays prank on us... He loves us so much. and He loves you so much He gave up His one and only Son. No, its not a fairytale. Everything in the bible is true. they are facts, recorded in history... So often we believe in ghost n devil. why is it so hard for us to perceive that God exist?

Went to Austin hills today and mum read from the book on rejection.
Most of us have suffered from rejection. be it our parents, friends etc. And some suffered rejection in the womb when their parents wanted to abort them. They realise that they grow up having death thoughts, wanting to commit suicide... They feel unworthy and hated by everyone. some of them needed attention so much they give themselves away... and waste their life messing around...

And rejection is one of the favourite tool of the devil. so many of us are paralysed with the fear of rejection from ppl that we put up a false front, a false self, a pretense self... we never really know who we are and our whole life is trapped with wanting to please others. and this is hard work. cause this person nvr experience liberty and freedom. But when I really know my worth in Christ Jesus, i need not try so hard to please anyone anymore...

there is this saying that goes, a person's worth is how much one is willing to pay for him/her. And i am bought with Jesus's life. Thats my worth. Well well. i can continue saying all this theory. i mean, which christian dunno Jesus died for them. Yet, the longest distance in the whole universe is from the head to the heart. Many christians know God with the head, but they nvr knew God with their hearts. that is why their lives never change. I pray that Lord you will help me in the journey of building my self image that i can get out of the bondage of wanting to please man and be trapped.

Good nights!