Had dinner with M. and thoughts just flooded as usual. I wonder why didnt God give all of us two lifes. the first life is for us to trial and error, to make all the mistakes you ever want to, try all the things you dream to do- whether messy or not. Then after I have messed up my life and tested the feel of it, then my 'actual' life begins. which is the second life. Wouldnt it be cool? or so I thought. hmm.

Thanks M, for the wonderful artpiece. Never knew you can block me- and only me- from seeing the album. naughty huh.


School was cool today. Had commskills lesson and my tutor is really awesome. He used to be a producer in mediacorp. a really nice person. Well, i thought to myself that not bad. i can survive five hours of tutorial with him. HA. but who knws, we were gna be seperated into grps and so it will not be five hours but lesser.

Was smsing D if i should jot down in my journal about certain events and how i felt towards it. I was afraid that after i jot down, in future i will forever remember that these things happened in my life that i never want to rmb. But D said that i should cause jotting it down will help me to think better. maybe i should.

Am really excited for things that is coming in this last quarter of the year. dreams and visions coming to pass! sometimes i really wish time could just stand still at this moment, with the aircon blowing right at my face, with me just unloading and relaxing, not having to face the world. With christian music playing at the background. PEACE. sometimes life feels like a game. though 'christians' shouldnt be saying this, but i do feel that life is a game. a game of heaven or hell, where do we go. and so what if we go either. I mean when the world comes to an end, we will be up there worshipping God till eternity. while many will be down there suffering. Sometimes i wonder why is life like that.

Sometimes i wonder why certain things happen and that God is playing a huge joke on me. and maybe He is having fun doing so. But well, my carnal mind thinks like that. But i know... that faith is sure of the things unseen of. with faith eyes i know that God arent playing a joke on me. And He definitely arent hacing pleasure from seeing me suffer like that. Im sure He has a plan for all these. plans to prosper me and not harm me. plans to give me a hope and a future.if only i trust, believe and obey. As long as i bite the bullet and wait. I know that good things are up ahead and God's glory is gonna be revealed soon.

Is my God bigger than all these obstacles in my life? How big my problems are to me will tell me how big my God is. If my problem is so big they overwhelm me, it only tells me that my God is so small, He cant handle these problems I have. If my God is so big, and i truly know that He is the one who created the universe, the galaxies, the whirlpool and He holds the universe in His palms- then my problems are too small compared to my big God and I can just trust.

10 things you should know about Gracey.

Inspired by donk. lol.

Cause of his tag that he wonders why i could type so fast...

so here goes.

TEN things we should all know about Grace.

One. I rebonded my hair ytd ( hahhaha)

Two. I love durian cakes

- cause my grandma used to order handmade durian cake from my neighbour for my birthday when i stayed over at her place. BUT. i havent found one that can be compared to that cake... and i miss it real bad. i think this neighbour moved house alrd so since then i havent eaten any durian cakes that are better than the one she made :( still searching. any recommendations?

Three. I can sing.

But i believe i dont have the skills. HAHA. i dont sing from the diaphram. I believe God gave me the voice but i didnt work on my skills. HEH HEH HEH. i sing with alot of air so most of the time people dunno what im singing. shit.

Four. I want to be an author.

I hope to write my first book before i turn 20. But. I dunno who will read and i dunno what im gonna write about. any suggestions? :D or, anyone who wants to prebook my book?

Five. I compose my own songs.

But most of my songs are forgotten. I write them out and the next minute i throw them away. i throw many of my songs away/ forgotten about them. Cause i always forget where i place my things and so when i write it out a piece of paper, i usually lose that paper. i need a personal assistant. HEH. My songs are usually written base on what i feel and experienced and till this point my favourite song is one that goes like this. i dont think i ever recorded it and place on the web. but its one song that made Am cried so much.

Damn, time lag.

Have you wondered why

Life seems so tough

Have you ever wish

It was all a dream

Have you ever felt

Like running away

Feeling all so empty inside

Chorus: If only life

Has got no sorrows

And I am void of feelings

If i can run and hide this mess

And pretend that all is fine

But I am losing myself

Losing my self...

Again.

Six. I love children and I want six kids.
LOL. I already found name for my three sons and one name for my girl (:
awesome. I want my children to have dimples like me ( amen )


Seven. I speak at a very fast pace.
This is something that everybody will comment at least once in their lifetime about me.
Reason being: i think that im wasting ppl's time when i talk slow or that people has no time for me. so i talk really fast. I didnt feel that i was important enough for ppl to listen to me and i feel like im a burden and wasting their time. so i speak fast and it has become a habit. Im gonna change it and learn to take my time and know that Im loved!


Eight. I hate to make decisions.
But mum taught me that the quality of a person's life depends on the quality of the person's decision. damn.


Nine. My parents seperated when i was seven.
But i guess its no big deal since both are still alive. oh well. learn to give thanks in every situation cause there is always someone out that who is suffering more than me.


Ten. I dont date.
Shit. this may be lame but this is damn important. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
met Daddy yesterday and i tell him maybe i should just die a virgin. he laughed like mad. cause he was telling me about relationships and how a person can change so much. But what he doesnt know is, everyone always appear nice and angelic lah. who doesnt. especially when they are dating. and when he say that people change after marriage, in my heart was. not true. people never change after marriage. its just that after marriage the real stuff comes out. during dating its just all pretense and the proper image put up. so i decided im gonna show my worse. HAHAHHA. im no angel please. i have a bad temper and i will die if this man leaves me cause my dad left me. so breakups will KILL me literally. so to avoid that pain, i dont date. So dont date me. LOL.


Had dinner with dad yesterday. i havent seen him for two months maybe. and he tried to influence me to go uni ah, go banking ah. and i just tell him dont try to influence me. HAHAHAHAH. was good lah. though only two hours or so. Boo.