ITS WAS ALL BUT AN ILLUSION


hello :]
im happy. or maybe not.
HA. met mummy for dinner.
honestly, guys in striped shirts are GORGEOUS. HAHA.
lame shit. but yeah. its true. i just happen to run into many people wearing stripes shirt and man. they look good. so i came up with my own concept that.

GUYS ARE HOT IN STRIPED SHIRTS.

please dont shake your head.and i know someone who is capable of doing this while reading the above :P its just a part of a girl's life and its HEALTHY ALRIGHT.
i mean. its more 'wrong' if i start ranting that hey. girls in... skirts are sexy? or or or. ERM. girls are hot in red lipstick? ha! LOL.
it was all about me in my own la la land. LALALALA.
i cant help but wish. but i know i will make use of a scissors if i knew.

READ BETWEEN THE LINES LAHH.

okay. im starting with my devotion. motivated by james, driven by competition. haha! kidding. i haven reach the stage of competing with guys. AND. i SERIOUSLY am just kidding. (laughs)
guys hold no threat to me. well, not now. HEHE.
but im excited of the journey with God. a brand new journey, and its no turning back.
the vision of Jesus hanging on the cross all beaten and blooded and wounded yet with loving eyes look down at me. its deeply engraved in my bird's brain. ANTI-CLIMAX. but hey. im not cursing myself (brain, i love you, i really do. HEH ) i mean. when i underestimate the power of god, i cant help but feel as if my brain has reduced to that of a bird.
yeah. the vision. He didnt spoke a word. But his eyes... it said it all. it sent me to tears. in those pain and rejection, he looked upon me with eyes of love...

crap shit, shit crap, crap shit.
i know not what is going on in my brain but something is going on. emotions&thoughts etc. overwhelming thoughts that i need to settle and get over with. self-analysis people are judgemental. yeah. its me, and im judgemental. LOL. but analysing is part of me and is not totally bad, there must be a b-a-l-a-n-c-e. but hey. admitting im judgemental doesnt mean im letting it be. im dealing with that alrights. HAHAH. yeah.
im like a sittin on a roller coaster. no. thats not the description.
HMM. okay. perhaps there is this IDOL in my heart that i need t get rid of. okay. GOD I REPENT! ha! i cant help it. lol

im tired. YAWNS...